Now, I know there's every chance that the man (can I safely assume dad? In fact, very little of what he did the day I watched him sporting his D. There's Dads With Shotguns on Prom Night and also Dads Who Lock Up Their Daughters Vaginas When They're Born. Dads For Daughters Dating, or Dads Who Accept Their Daughter's Choices is more in line with how we're trying to raise our girls.
But at face value, a shirt that reads Dads Against Daughters Dating is horrible for a number of reasons: This shirt comes in many forms. If you want to wear a shirt that supports your daughter's future why not wear one of the It Starts With You: #Im AMale Model campaign that speaks to ending violence against women? Make sure they know they're strong enough to make choices and that those choices have weight of their own, even before they've come to dear dad asking for his blessing.
I'm not the perfect father, and I'm not a child psychologist. I'd like to think that I will consider opinions that don't necessarily jive with mine. If you're a blathering idiot, then all bets are off. Especially when it comes to my theory on my daughters and boyfriends. Any John Wayne western, any Clint Eastwood "Dirty Harry" show, the Godfather trilogy or Hoosiers.
Consider this to be a spot where Dads with daughters can come to share advice, experiences, and humor about the relationships between us and our daughters. My Google alert popped up a blog article last night titled "43 Questions for Fathers to Ask Their Daughters Boyfriend." First of all, any Dad who thinks his daughter will permit him to interrogate her boyfriend for 43 questions worth, is completely detached from reality. If he's never heard of or watched any of those movies, he's most likely a sissy boy and we wouldn't want him around our daughter to begin with.
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As a dad, I get that it's tricky riding the line between "it's up to me to raise strong, confident women who make smart, informed, decisions for themselves that are meant to please them more than they please me and that sometimes I'll have to be the asshole to her to do this," and "my daughter is my property and I know what thoughts go through the mind of a 15-year-old and I'll kill you." But it is a line that dads need to learn and it's important that these archaic ideas of fatherhood die a quick death. We show you that as a woman you're as strong as a man and that you set out the path for who you do or do not fall in love with, not us. I don't have to talk to them about their sex lives to support their choices.
These shirts may be purchased in jest but I'm not sure a five-year-old fully understands that. Why suggest we need to shorten the leash on our female children while giving out even more to our male children who we stupidly assume are out to get our girls. We don't have a very appealing acronym for our t-shirt business but we feel pretty good about the messages we're trying to send out girls. We'll show you our relationship and all the good thing and bad things that come with it and you know that you're free to do the same if that's what you choose. You don't have to be "Dear Daughter, I hope you have awesome sex" to show that you support the autonomy of your little girls.
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Oh, summer – a time to spend with our families doing things we often end up fighting over; a time to complain about how hot it is (only if we’re talking about the humidity of course); and, a time to watch men on the beach walk around with their young daughters proudly wearing their ‘D.
I expect, “I know what went on in my head when I was a young man,” as the first line of defense a ‘D. This reads to me as, “I knew I wanted to have sex all the time and a young girl can’t expect that if we’re dating, I shouldn’t be allowed to act out those urges.” This notion, dear ‘D. I hope both my daughters have fulfilling relationships no matter what the sex is like if sex is even part of it – that is not for me to dictate.◊♦◊It is not for ‘D. Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
A time to spend with our families doing things we often end up fighting over, a time to complain about how hot it is (only if we're talking about the humidity of course), and a time to watch men on the beach walk around with their young daughters proudly wearing their D.
I expect "I know what went on in my head when I was a young man," is the first line of defence a D.